It wasn't a sadness, right next door. And great despair. This year we have given birth to two creations ("Lurez Ezkutua" and "Bidasoa Mintzatu"), we have achieved great success and yet a bitter feeling squeezes my neck.

I have been working in theatre for about 30 years, writing, acting, directing, passing the broom, making reports, meetings, press conferences, evenings, cleaning the bathrooms, climbing stairs, driving, loading, spotlights, cables and e-mails... And at least I have learned one thing along the way: Basque culture is not a subject, it is an announcement. A checkbox on the Excel screen is about to be completed. One that sits on the last line of the task list. The precariousness, impotence and permanent hostility experienced in the Basque cultural sphere (we are often insulted, despised or insulted by speaking in Basque) is not a subject. Basque art is the only centre of inspiration for Vasco-speakers, but breathing is not a matter.

I'm a monkey, I learn from imitation and it's directly linked to the possibilities of imitation that I have the ability to express my feelings, emotions and reflections. To give her the first kiss, I've tried to scare the kisses I'd seen in the movies. When my mom died or I had to greet my friend in the hospital forever, the books I read helped me understand and clarify my feelings. I've learned to share the joy of my children's first steps. It's cultural. The function and duty of Basque art is to enrich language, feed it, share emotions in the community and make humanity an opportunity to live in freedom. In theater, for a moment, I am part of a community, I exist in Euskera without thinking that I live in Euskera. I feel, think and move forward in the heart of the people.

Does that not deserve a minimum of protection? Is that worthless? At all levels there are catastrophic budgets for Basque culture, the vast majority of Basque artists live in a situation of precariousness and lack of security, and what? Do you take it to your neck and keep walking? Is this the strategic plan offered to our people? Basque culture competes in marginal awards, with marginal budgets, in marginal spaces. If the red carpet is pressed, it should be folded or dominated. Salbaia is always subjected to civilised language.

The difficulty of uniting feelings and thinking is becoming a chronic disease of the current Basque: alexithymia. In a nutshell: We are mentally handicapped. Therein lies the process of de-Euskaldunization, most emotional and community contents are disseminated in Spanish. This is a direct consequence of a public policy. In order to guarantee the linguistic rights of our children, statements made before the courts or at the press conference do not have much influence. Budgets do. Political support does. Strategic projects do. But when I hear sterile speeches that talk about culture, a motto comes to mind: "Fewer reports and more books." That will be our fundamental political revolution.

Language and culture have always been the heart of people and freedom; and looking away, we have fallen into Baskism. Perhaps nationalism has died? I don't know. Sometimes I think so. The culture of alexithymia and of reports has taken precedence over Baskism and buried patriotism in the vegetable garden of colonialism.